Friends. What are they?

¹friend

 noun \ˈfrend\

: a person who you like and enjoy being with

Yes, yes, I know this. But I think that there is more to it. I say this because, quite frankly, I don't have any in college yet. I have my boyfriend, thank Jesus, and my roommate who I love like a little sister, but there's not a single person that I feel like I have truly connected with yet.

If I am going to see the positive in this situation, I am going to say that it has helped me to realize what I consider makes someone a true friend, someone that I truly like and enjoy being with.

¹friend

 noun \ˈfrend\

You cannot simply laugh at their jokes, they have to make you bend over in pain, tears streaming from your eyes. They cannot just be easy to talk to, they have to talk to you about things that truly matter to you in your world and have conversations that really make you think. They cannot only listen to what you have to say, they have to listen and from that know what you are feeling and insightfully lead the conversation in the direction from which you will both benefit the most. Being with them cannot be just fun, it has to make you forget what is bothering you and free you always be something that you look back on with a smile on.

Friends must challenge you, love you, question you, cheer you on, and most importantly, make you laugh. 

But you do not have to agree with them. You can be different people and the combination of your two personalities can simply send a shiver down the earth's spine.

Maybe I'm just too picky...

It's a loves story, baby just say yes...

As I look over the archives of this blog, I am feeling quite nauseous.

YES, I started this blog with every intention of it being a kind of anonymous diary of sorts, a means of venting and sharing my feelings without having to tire my hand with a pen and paper. But it seems to have turned into some gushy love story about my relationship!

It may have something to do with the fact that I started this blog back when my relationship was just budding, but apparently it was all that was on my mind at the time!

And so I must apologize to you, dear readers (oh wait...), and promise that I will now focus on improving my writing skills and doing what I love. Imma start putting a little lovin' and effort into this blogary (<--- my lame attempt at combining blog and diary into one word) to make it more enjoyable for the rest of us. Because, let's be frank, this love bullshit sucks.

DISCLAIMER: I am still in love and still in a relationship, I guess I am just more mature than I was a few months ago. Crazy how that happens, eh?

<3
F

It's all just disenchantment, isn't it?

Nothing hurts me more than knowing you're mad at me.
Nothing hurts me more than knowing you're disappointment in me.
Nothing hurts me more than not knowing when I will see you again.

But nothing, nothing hurts me more than being without you.

Caprice

One minute it was perfect,
And the next you would not care.
How could what we have been wrecked
When I was always there?

The caprice behind your doing,
The sarcasm eating at your soul;
You have succeeded at undoing
The one thing that made me whole.

I still think your beautiful,
I still want to hold your hand;
I want to be with you in daylight,
And to be with you in dark...

To see the sun shine in your hazel eyes,
Or the starlight catch your gaze;
To lay with you below the skies,
I will dream of this for days.

But the world has other plans for you
And so I must comply.
But I wish I were still holding you
And I will always wonder why...


Taking a stab at poetry, enjoy!

<3
F