To the boyfriend:
Context: neither of us have dropped the "love" bomb yet, and I am very hesitant to be the first because I am nervous he doesn't love me quite yet. We also dated a few years ago.
"I don't know how you do it, but you're making me fall in love with you all over again."
To the ex-best friend:
Context: my ex-best friend is age 22, 5 years older than me, and very obese and immature leading her to get my nerves GREATLY recently.
"You should probably go loose some weight because no one wants a wife who is going to die of heart problems from eating such shit."
Don't judge me. It was late at night.