Friday, August 3, 2012

The Drug Guy (and what he taught me about weight loss)

Back in 7th grade, we had a guest speaker come to warn us of the dangers of drug use. He called himself the drug guy. Yes, really.

He repeated a lot of information I already knew about lung cancer, meth mouth, and jail time, but the Drug Guy did teach me something else that would follow me through life: why it's do damn hard to lose weight. 

So ladies (and gentlemen, I suppose), why is it so hard to lose weight?

According to the Drug Guy, your brain releases pleasure hormones at high amounts during two instances-- sex and eating. Yup. (Being the Drug Guy, he went on to explain how drugs also cause release of pleasure causing hormones at such great amounts that eating and orgasming are no longer pleasurable). 

But that just explains it all. 

World, I am not losing weight because I am not having enough sex to make up for the pleasure human beings instinctively find in tucking into a good meal. NO ONE is having enough sex for that. 

So all of you who manage to turn down a hot pizza, please, enlighten me. What have you found that is so pleasurable it surpasses food and sex?

And don't say drugs because the Drug Guy told me those were bad way back in 7th grade. 

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